So tired of dealing with my dad's shit.
My mom is talking about seperation? Idk if I can handle that shit seriously. I feel like I am going to be fucked up by the time this all boils over.
I just want everyone to be happy and live in LaLa Land and go on with their lives unharmed by other peoples opinions and feelings.

He takes everything badly and meanly. Like we're out to get him.
It's like, I'm your daughter for fuck sake don't you know I love you?

What the fuck ever.

It's cold.
It needs to be summer this very second so I can be in Venice beach/Hawaii with Lia.

I don't even want to think about school coming yet. My brain is not mentally ready for that kind of stress.
I have been under so much stress lately. My hair is falling out (not in clumps but more than it did before when I wash/brush it).
My period is 2 weeks late. I am breaking out like a mother fucker and my immune system is down and I got infantigo on my face ughhh.

life is just being weird haha. But for some reason Lia makes me feel better when we talk/hang out.
And when I talk to Brooke also.

They are my strongholds and I would be washing into the metaphorical ocean of sadness without them.

Lmao literally crying irl.
I hate how im such a fucking dipshit and I'm so retarded I always make people turn on me.
Everyone I have trusted has turned on me at one point or another.
Why am I not suprised anymore?
Why am I still crying even though I'm not suprised.

Lia's moving into her new house this week and my dad wants to go camping.
I'm thinking no. I don't want to go camping because I do not enjoy it for one and secondly, it might be raining.
I just can't see myself being entertained, even if they do have wireless internet. It's pretty and all but it has been fucking cold
the past few weeks and Idk if my body can stick it in 50 degree weather all day long (Yeah my caligirl body is adjusted to a little warmer climate than most)

Idk I'm just not in the mood for bullshit right now. Stressing over getting all my winter break homework done for school even though I have 2 weeks I think? Idk time has passed so fast it is just not fair.

Without pain killers I would be fucking insane. I love living in my little fantasy world that me and Lia are going to hop a flight to Hawaii leaving behind everything that sucks and just live like bums, hot tanned beach babe bums

I am going to live in my little fantasy and no one will burst my bubble. We were texting today, talking about how we're going to listen to Weezy on the plane and just idek just live. My parents had a fight. Mom didn't come home until midnight. Dad yelled at me, I was crying the whole day and when I woke up at 10pm to my mom not being home I fucking LOST IT.

I started bawling on the phone to her I honestly for a split second wondered what would happen if we left my dad. Would he be ok? Would he be sad? I don't care if he feels bad for treating me like shit I just don't want to be treated that way. He can treat me that way if it makes him feel better. Maybe it does. I hope so because then at least I know he's happy.

It's thundering. It's going to rain tomorrow. Maybe I'll get blown out of my mind tomorrow. Forget everything because I can. Pass the fuck out like Lia did when she tried to off herself. I feel numb right now even talking about this. Drugs make it all better.

I'm such a fucking whining bitch haha.

I am really into writing right now, accounting on the boring part is over and has been over for 1-2 chapters now? lozlor00reo~
Any ways It's really exciting to write so I'm kind of putting myself into that, throwing if you will.

Not much has happened. Planning to smoke a bunch with lia this winter when she moves into her new house and her parents go into town. I'll write more when I'm not so stoked on writing <3

Our GaGa who art in Disco Heaven
Glorious be thy name
Thy Fame will come
Your Fashion become
on Earth as it is in Disco Heaven

Give us this day, our daily Monster
And forgive us our opposing fan bashing
As we listen to your timeless hits
In hopes, others shall do the same

And lead us not into a Bad Romance,
But the music of a siren .
For thine is the Thrown,
and the Fame, and your Queenliness,
for ever and ever.
Gaymen.


Btw, I'll post a giant update tomorrow since that is my last day before break
<3

Why can't I run away to hawaii by myself!!
Why can't A woman be happy with themselves when they look beautiful without any chemical shit on their face!
Why does everyone think happiness=success!
Why Is everyone afraid of being cast out because they think something is cool!
Why can't I like something and not worry about what he or she thinks!
I'm going to be myself no matter what anyone thinks and that means doing what I want (within reason) Because If I don't what will I have in the end.
Nothing?
I can never say I ran away and hid in someones motterhome when I was 5!!! Thinking I was going to disney land!!
BUT I DID SO GO ME!!!
I just want to throw it all out the window and live my life to the fullest.
In the great words of MGMT
"Live fast and die young"

I totally just yawned haha, LJ is so entertaining!
Today is another school day and, unfortunately, Mom woke me up at 7am thinking I had class. I mean, I don't, unless I want to, which I don't.
I feel like I need to ask my teacher if I can work on my math over winter break, otherwise I'm just not going to finish in time. I'm on chapter 7 right now and I have 2 weeks. Which means I'll be on chapter 9 when the break starts. I just, like, can't haha.

To all my LJ friends;;;;
I have really been the worst friend ever!! I have been so busy I have barely had time to post journals, let alone comment on you guys!
But once December 18 rolls around I will be all over you guys and your holiday plans!! I can't wait till break starts and I can just relax and not worry about rushing shit!!

So recently I have been busy stressing about getting all the years homework one in the next two weeks or so... I have ten days pretty much, so that sucks a big one right there. Somehow I always find myself on facebook or LJ when I'm supposed to be concentrating on homework and things like that.

Novel status;
I have 3 chapters done, finished, proofread (although I don't doubt I will read them 5 times again, fixing grammar and wording until I feel like it's 100% of how I want it to be)
I have close to/over 15000 words and I am so fucking proud of myself because I have commitment issues with pretty much anything. I'm not afraid to commit or some bullshit like that, I just get really bored. So when ever I start something, there is a 10% chance it will get finished, that goes for most projects other than art/school that I start.

This story is just so interesting to me, the writing process is like reading a book in itself and I feel like that's what writing really should be, a joy for the writer to write and a joy for the reader to read. It needs to be a balance otherwise the writer is going to be bitter about having to finish it and the book will probably have a bitter tone, unless they're a master writer, because I put my emotions into my writing.

My character sometimes feel's the way I do. It's hard for me to detach myself from my characters because I like to put bits and pieces of myself into them, maybe that's the problem then. Either way I'm stressed and yet happy knowing that I'll be on a 3 week break soon!

Woogohohoohooo~~

Me and Brooke are talking about what that music video would be like. Lots of fire...And, scales. LOL.

So me and Lia hung out today, walked to shell gas station and got some energy drinks, as is a custom when we hang out, along with 5 gum. That is also a tradition. Our favorite drink flavor and gum flavor?
Carb free rock star, it seriously tastes like candy to me and I like that weird pee taste sugar free redbull has aswell.
My personal favorite 5gum flavor is solstice! It's sew awesome and the flavor literally lasts for hours and there is always a slight hint of mint even after it looses it's initial flavor.

Excuse me If Im rambling and my lack of grammar and or spelling. I'm on about 50mg of Vicos atm and I'm not too worried about whatever is going on outside my room honestly hahaha. I love drugs, sadly.

Lia said her friend tried to hook her up with this tall blonde guy from a local band (Yes he is our age, 16-18 maybe?) and she has been holding out for this guy named pat who eventually will one day realize what a beautiful and sweet girl she is and sweep her off her feet and make sweet sweet orthadontist love to her (they work together at her mom's[her mom is the manager] othardontist clinic arharharhar.....) So her friend might hook me up. Yummy blonde guy makeouts...I wonder if he tastes like vanilla, or cigarettes. either one will do for me.

So after we did all this talking about random shit and listening to Iranian Radio on itunes and laughing forver
( Hilar video/The rest of my night )

P.s. If you like Passion pit, M83, or Owl city, LISTEN TO BASEMENT JAXX THEY ARE AMAZING!
you won't regret the purchase/download for sure.

SORRY FOR THE LONG FUCKING POST

idfk about you, but personally I think that's pretty cool

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Anchorage/187900916435?ref=search&sid=100000269595289.2997660068..1&v=wall#/pages/Anchorage/187900916435?ref=mf
Face book link please fav them and whatnot if you like.

Website;
http://www.unsigned.com/anchorage

YER BITCHES DO THAT SHIT FOR ME PLEASEEEEE <3

Although I'm doing that I hate to be one of those annoying bitches going
DO IT FAV THEM IT WILL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME OH PLEASE OH PLEASE~~
but honestly if you like it what will it hurt right? Thanks mans and ladies.

I'm really cold and sitting here and IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!!!! as well, I might add. Wow bold italics underline!!! Strong language I know, but I'm freezing during the day time so night time --when the sun refuses to lend it's light and warmth to the earth -- is a little worse.

I just wanted to say I might be grounded tomorrow, depending on if I sleep in past 10 or not. Fuck my sleeping habbits I hate being grounded for doing life necessary tasks!!
If only I was alice cullen. Just kidding I dont want a sparkly vagina haha, or do I?
no.

So that's all.

Ily sew much and will always love you!
Friends forever :).

I swear I have the weirdest sleeping patter of anyone I know.
First of all, I went to bed at 8pm. Other than my grandma and other old people and toddlers I don't think anyone does that.
Second, I woke up at 2am and went on the computer for an hour, because I wanted to. I went back to bed at 3am and was awake in bed until 4.
Then, at 7 my mom came in my room chattering about how we should all levitate out of bed or something Idk I wasn't fucking listening at that point because, hey, I just woke up.

So I got up and did the weeks homework (which is fucking awesome since I only have three classes!!!) woo fuckin hoo!
I thoroughly enjoyed my math homework (Really though I did. I like calculators) And then finished my English half-assed and now I'm posting it all on live journal.

School in 20 mins, lookin like shit froze over, ready for the day!
Planning to sleep for 4 hours until church tonight?
FUCK YES.

P.s. I have been look at entirely too many picture of kristen stewart since I cut my bangs (Yes I know what the fuck I'm doing tyvm) to get me some blunt bangs. Kind of regretting it now that I can't just push my bangs out of my face whenever I want, but it's whatever.
Then my aunt said it made my face look fat, which in that moment, I wondered
"Why do I still have her as my friend on facebook?"
I don't know why. I just do.

Off to school bitches!! <3

I really hate them, because you know something, they suck. It's like you take stuff to make it go away and it seems that it only makes it worse. I also hate how I have so many physical ailments LOL. It's kind of a tragic thing.

Out of boredom I am making Kstew Icons. I know I know, I just really love her, that fierce bitch.

I don't really have anything noteworthy to report on other than that my dad is making a chicken... for dinner....Yep.
I'm just like so bored and I know I should be doing homework but I don't want toooooo waahahahahahhhh.



[edit 6:56]
So I decided it would be a good idea to clear some of the crap off my shelves that has been there for around 8 years since we redid my room.
there were a bunch of teddy bears and dolls hanging around and I just had to say GTFO to them all.
Currently residing in their place are a bunch of books and magazines and school shit.
Yay, Feels so much more solid in a way, more clean.

yay for original characters.

My mom is shouting at the TV "WHAT A BUNCH OF QUEER PUSSIES" ily mom, thank you for giving birth to me, so I can laugh at you and your sillyness.

That's all I did after an hour of begging my mom to let me stay home from all day church buttfucking.
Although I did manage to stay up until 8 in the morning, but I left out that minor detail any ways.
So I slept till 7 at night and then got up to eat fish sticks. Yum.

So I went to the all day church thing again today which I will also be going to again tomorrow, someone shoot me please I will pay you 1$s.
I think the only reason I survived it today is because I sat with Lia the first half and we drew pictures of edward cullen the good vampire and Cholas in acid wash jeans smokin a crack pipe.

Any ways I fell asleep for the last 4 hours after lunch because I had a big sandwich that was idek it was massive and I am STILL full LOL.
Tomorrow I plan to sleep the whole time if I can. woooog. church is so boring.